Leaders often don't realize that your Leadership is like a performance with you under the spotlight 24/7. There are few opportunities for mistakes. Your credibility is built or lost in moments whether you are exercising your emotional intelligence or not.
The critics who may also be your followers are demanding and have high expectations for you.
In each situation they are initially giving you the benefit of the doubt, that:
You spent time thinking about the situation at hand.
You know exactly what you want.
There is a clear purpose in all of your communications and actions.
You know what can be done or not done to add value.
You have all the answers.
These inferences are based on what you say, your behavior, and your non-verbals. As leaders, we know that many of these assumptions are false, but these are the expectations of your followers, at least initially. If these expectations are not met, then the opposite judgments are made quickly and then validated and revalidated.
Specifically:
You don't know what you are doing.
You don't have the answers.
You don't think anyone has any value.
You are not clear about where you, the team, or the organization is going.
You are not a leader who is credible and respected.
If you understand what a tight rope your daily leadership walks and what a fall can cost you, wouldn't you benefit from practicing and learning the moves better? Sure you would.
Leadership is a Dance
Thereare special steps to the leadership dance, but often they are not taught in organizations, business schools or graduate schools. There is a process to leadership, just like the other processes in your organization; the sale process, manufacturing process, quality assurance process.
In order to understand and define the most critical components of effective leadership. The Blanchard Companies launched a study in 2006, in which more than 1,400 leaders, managers and executives shared their views on the critical skills and common mistakes connected to leadership.
They found that the top three things leaders admitted they fail to do are:
82% of respondents stated they fail to provide appropriate feedback (praise, redirection)
81% said they fail to listen to or involve others in the process
76% said they fail to use a leadership style that is appropriate to the person, task, and situation (over-supervising of under-supervising)
Most leaders mimic what one of their bosses have done with them, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, or they simply wing it. Leadership has it's own beat and rhythm and a process to follow. If you don't follow the process, the quality of leadership suffers as does the team and, ultimately, the organization.
We know that in learning any new skill, like golf, tennis or dance, first you have to learn the right steps and then you need to practice it over and over.
Delegation, giving feedback, coaching, managing up and across, decision making and getting buy-in all have specific steps that leaders can learn.
In my work as an Executive Coach and Corporate trainer, I usually ask people how often they delegate in a day? Most say about 5 to 7 times a day. Then I ask about how often they provide feedback to their employees and they say 4 to 5 times a day. Two critical skills that leaders and managers do daily and yet most don't have any established system or process. So what are the steps on the floor to follow?
I have developed a step-by-step, proven process for these daily critical skills. The Leadership Keys and Leadership Keys iPhone App with videos answer the following questions:
How do you decide when to step in and out with direction for your employees?
How do you hold accountability?
What is the best way to give feedback?
How can you be very clear in your delegation?
How do you coach, empower, and when do you give advice?
What is best practice for making decisions and getting buy-in?
How can you manage up and across?
As a leader there is a process and clear steps to answer the above questions. When you practice, practice, practice, these steps become second nature, fluid and focused.
Thus the development of the Leadership Keys iPhone app. By having it available as a tool on the item you always have with you, your cell phone, you have immediate access to the steps to take. You have the power right in your hand to improve your leadership skills each day and make you a star performer who can lead your team to star performance.
Michael received his 360 degree feedback and looked at the summary page. What quickly jumped out to him on almost every competency was his scores for his leadership were higher than everyone else's scores of him. Embarrassed, he laughed and said, "I guess they don't see all the good things I am doing?" As his coach, I said, "Or possibly you are not doing the things to the extent you think you are?"
In a new study of 4,322 participants from 283 global clients, the Hay Group reported that, "participants with high Emotional Awareness display more of all the ESCI competencies at a strength level or top 10% level. These findings led to the assertion that Self-Awareness lies at the heart of Emotional Intelligence." What is Self-Awareness?
In the Goleman, Boyatzis, Hay Group EI model Emotional Self-Awareness is defined as a leader who recognizes feelings and how they affect them and their job performance. So it is identification of the emotions, implication of that emotion on your performance, which then gives the ability to manage or alter your actions.
In Gestalt therapy the old adage is "awareness equals responsibility." If you are aware of the emotion then now you are "able to respond or be responsible." Often we say in leadership trainings you have to "name it to tame it."
Why is it so hard to be Self Aware?
Our Self-Awareness has to be developed and practiced. David Rock reports that almost 50% of the time we are operating on automatic or not consciously aware of what we are doing. Also when our mind is just wandering we report not being as happy as when we are engaged in some outside activity versus inside mind wandering.
How can we be so mistaken on how we are coming off to others?
Intention and execution gap: We may have 100% intentions and only 50% effectiveness in carrying out our intentions.
Introspection illusion: Introspection feels as if we have uncovered out true intentions, when in reality we are making educated guesses about our intentions, many of which are unconscious.
Our thoughts are facts fallacy: Believing because you think something therefore it is true and don't check your assumptions with others and worse, act only on limited or skewed data.
Lack of feedback: In organizations there is a puacity of meaningful feedback that is candid, accurate and actionable.
Leaders don't ask for feedback: It is uncomfortable for leaders to ask for feedback about their performance from others.
Superiority illusion: We overestimate our strengths. We think we are more successful, interesting, attractive, and friendly than the average person. Tali Sharot reports 70% of leaders rank themselves in the top 50%.
Underestimation of negative impact on others: Leaders minimize their influence on others and usually don't hear about the times when people are upset with their actions or behaviors.
Our memory distorts reality: We create false attributions and stories about the facts of the situation.
Self Awareness Actions: Micro-initiatives create macro impacts. Doing just a few things differently can create a major change. As a result of his 360 degree feedback, Michael designed daily reminders or "awareness boosts" for himself. When he turns on his computer in the morning there is a reminder to stay positive and be aware of the impact of his words and actions. Then at 3:00 p.m. another reminder came up asking him if he acknowledged anyone yet. If not, he'd get up and find someone doing something good or right and emphasize that was what he wanted to see and reinforce repeating those actions. These micro-initiatives took about 5 minutes to do, but helped raise his awareness to complete the actions which would help him to be a top performer.
With the New Year come many resolutions and goal setting methods. In my mind, one goal for businesses supercedes all because it is foundational to success – great (not good) leadership.
As an Executive Coach, Corporate Psychologist and trainer I am in different organizations in different business sectors almost every day from healthcare, entertainment, high tech financial institutions to agriculture. This bird’s eye view allows me to see what works and doesn’t work from one leader and organization to another.
>I can say unequivocally that every leader I have worked with has underestimated their influence over others. Does this agree with your own experience? If so, every leader and their teams have underperformed.
The good news is that doing a few micro-initiatives can create a macro impact with regard to performance. There is plenty of stretch room to grow performance to get better results. This blog shares with you the strategies, tips and tools that help move people into the top 10% of performance using Emotional Intelligence strategies.
You may ask, “Why is being in the top 10% so important?” Research by Zenger and Folkman in the Extraordinary Leader states that once in the top 10% the individuals are twice as valuable to the bottom line as someone in 89% and below.
When I talk to groups about leadership, everyone knows who that top 10% performer is on their team. What they don’t know though is how to get more of their own direct reports into the top 10%. There are some key foundational errors for these leaders.
Not only is there a gap in developing more leaders, we are experiencing a brain drain in enormous proportions. This is resulting in a converging chaos because of three factors. Already, 40% of organizations state they will be experiencing a significant gap in number of skilled leaders trained.
The three problem factors are:
America has lost 8 million jobs in the last 2 years because of the great recession.
Retiring Baby Boomers are leaving a shortfall of 10 million workers.
Gen X / Y entering leadership roles have lower Emotional Intelligence.
So, we have fewer leaders overall and even fewer leaders with high Emotional Intelligence (EI). This is critical because EI not IQ, or technical expertise, has been identified as the key factor for top 10% of performance. The good news is that yourEI improves with age -- it is part of maturing.
The solution: In simple terms here is the solution and value proposition:
Leaders need Emotional Intelligence to be move into the top 10%.
So why are so many leaders and organizations underperforming? These seven errors are unintentional yet very impactful. How many do you find are true for you or your emerging leaders?
Generalization of skill error: Leaders are promoted for reasons other than leadership, either technical skills or being a good individual performer. “You can manage yourself therefore you will know how to manage others.” This error can leave new managers and leaders unprepared and set up for failure, as a new set of skills is required to be a successful leader. Leadership demands a whole new set of skills to be successful. True for you or others?
Spotlight error: Leaders are under the spotlight 24/7. Every action is scrutinized, analyzed or interpreted more so than leaders realize. Many a leader’s credibility has been crumbled with an off the cuff communication or reactive response. True for you or others?
Influence error: Followers want to please the leader and are waiting to be acknowledged for their progress and unique skills. Every day leaders miss opportunities to enhance their influence with followers. Often leaders underestimate or appreciate just how much power and influence they actually have. True for you or others?
Neglect error: The tasks of leadership are often relegated or neglected in favor of the crisis or hot issue of the day. The basic leadership functions of giving direction; feedback, delegating, and coaching are easily put off till the leader has time or finishes their urgent tasks. True for you or others?
Style alignment error: Leaders communicate, organize, delegate and give feedback in their own preferred manner. “If it works for me it will work for them”, is the mental model. This will leave leader only partially successful as followers may demand a completely different style to be truly successful. True for you or others?
Focus error: Followers expect and want their leaders to be well intentioned, have well thought out plans, be clear in direction, and know how the followers can best contribute to the vision. Leaders too often are scattered, defocused and not clear in what they what and how they want tasks to be carried out. True for you or others?
Frequency error: If in fact the leader has skill and makes the time occasionally they don’t employ the necessary strategies frequently enough to be successful. It is too little to truly be effective and successful with strategy to make a significant difference for their employees. It is like exercising just once a week to meet your goal of getting in shape. True for you or others?
If you have checked more than 2 of the 7 for you or for a direct report you are underperforming, and there is plenty of room for maximizing your influence. My latest book, Leading with Emotional Intelligence, provides specific tools and strategies to increase your EI and that of your team’s.
Did you know there are 3 kinds of “Brain Drains” now in the workforce?
1. Fewer Brains feeding the leadership pipeline, the actual “number of capable leaders” out there is shrinking
2. Emotional Intelligence Drain
3. Environmental IQ drain.
78 million Baby Boomers are retiring
Only 46M new Gen X’s are coming to take their place.
40% of organizations will be experiencing significant gap in number of skilled leaders training
Two: EI Brain Drain, baby Boomers have a higher EI. Why?
Less actual face time because of technology. Inter-facing with a computer or phone versus a person lowers the amount of time spent with real people “face to face” is now far less than ever before due to teleconference, webinars and groupware.
So less time dealing with conflict, less time communicating your thoughts in depth, less immediate response reading emotions that allow to see the effects of your communication, less face time changing and readjusting your communication in the moment.
These are all basic people skills that are getting “less and less time to be learned” and practiced with each generation so less Emotional Intelligence (less emotionally engaged people overall) are coming into the workforce.
What does leadership research tell us about these “people drainage systems”?
We see this lack of basic skills highlighted in some of the research:
Blanchard Companies launched a study in 2006 in which more than 1,400 leaders, managers, and executives shared their views on the critical skills, common mistakes and failures connected to leadership.
1. Failing to provide appropriate feedback (praise, redirection)—82% of respondents
2. Failing to listen to or involve others in the process—81% of Respondents
3. Failing to use a leadership style appropriate to the person, task, and situation (over-supervising or under-supervising)—76% of respondents
4. Failing to set clear goals and objectives—76% of respondents
5. Failing to train and develop their people—59% of respondents
The Answer: Counteract the Brain Drain with Brain Gain EI resources. Generation X and Millenials need to learn more emotional intelligent leadership skills to compensate for Technology time versus face time. Learn EI skills like Emotional Self Control, Confidence, Teamwork and Collaboration, Developing Others, Communication and Empathy tools and strategies for Leading with Emotional Intelligence .
Today' leadership challenges require more Emotional Intelligence.
WHY NOW: CONVERGING CHAOS
We are in the middle of a leadership “double whammy.”
1. We are in the midst of what is being called the “great recession.” The country lost 8.4 million jobs from 2007-2009, four times the net losses in the recession of the 1980s and 1.2 million more than previously estimated. The LA Times reports this “severe destruction of jobs since December 2007, when the recession began, means that it will take years for millions of distressed families—and the economy as a whole—to climb back from what is being called the Great recession.”
2. We are approaching the largest turnover of human capital in our history, as 40% of the American workforce will be eligible to retire in 2010. There is a projected shortfall of 10 million workers that leaders will have to contend with in the next few years.
The questions leaders have to face today are abundant:
Will I have a job?
Will my people have jobs?
How do I motivate the ones who are here?
How do I keep my best people from leaving and finding more secure work?
How do I train the ones who are here for the next challenge and to be our new stars?
How do we deal with more work and fewer people?
How do we all manage our stress and enjoy work more?
How do we do our best work with all that is going on?
How do I hire the best people who can be our next stars?
How do I manage myself to keep all this in perspective and perform at my best?
David Rock has said the brain knows only two states: Is this situation a threat to me (with the inherent fear)? Or is this situation a reward (with possible release of pleasurable brain chemicals, such as dopamine)? As you read the questions above, which state does your brain go into?
This site www.truenorthleadership.com has resources and assessments to establish where you are on EI and tools for improving your EI. The good news is you can improve your EI with some focus and practice.
This time of Thanksgiving and the upcoming holidays is a
great time to think of those who have enriched your lives. Giving
specific praise and thanks helps build your relationships. We now know
that the recipient’s brain releases dopamine when they hear unexpected
praise it acts as a brain reward.
Find below:
Praise and Your Brain- 3 Feedback steps
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Praise and the Brain: In organizations a 3:1 ratio of
positive to negative interaction has been proven to enhance performance,
improve engagement and retention. The release of dopamine is one reason
it is so powerful. (Fredrickson, Positivity) Dopamine is commonly
associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of
enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform
certain activities. Dopamine is released (particularly in areas such as
the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex) by naturally rewarding
experiences such as food, sex, drugs, and neutral stimuli that become
associated with them. (Wikepedia) So you are giving them a naturally
lift or high. They will feel good and so will you.
3 Steps for Powerful Feedback:
It should be specific, point the behavior without
interpretations.
You should tell them why it is important- use why’s, becauses or
state the impacts of the behavior
t should be as immediate a possible
“I really appreciate you getting the report to me on
time.”
“I can see you worked really hard on this, gathered input from others,
checked with me before the final was done and it looks really
professional. This is a great example of quality of work we want from
you here. Thanks again.”
This will take less than 40 seconds to say and will carry huge benefits.
They will want to do a good job again and get more of the dopamine
release.
A feedback tool is one of the Leadership Keys, you can view here. http://www.truenorthleadership.com/Pubsprods/cartstyle/leadership-keys-field-guide.html
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great interviews with Dr. Ken Blanchard, Dr. Matt Lieberman a Brain
Neuroscientists, Marshall Goldsmith, David Allen on Getting It Done and
Dr. Noel Tichy. http://budurl.com/kfza
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Star Secrets - Four (4) interviews with Stars in Confidence,
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“There is really too much in this book. If you practiced on a regular basis just 10 of the 108 strategies presented in the book, you would be heads above your competition and miles closer to your goals. The trick is determining which 10 are best for you.” Dr. Relly Nadler, Psy.D. (2010)
“I read Leading with Emotional Intelligence and I was quite impressed. You did a great job presenting the material in a straightforward, credible way; more important, your process for building the EI competencies is both very practical and sensible. Nice job.” Bill Tredwell, Vice President, Hay Group, Inc.
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“If you’re looking for the plays and strategies to raise Emotional Intelligence, this is the handbook.” Jack Canfield, Co-creator, Chicken Soup for the Soul,
Co-author, The Success Principle ™
