Michael received his 360 degree feedback and looked at the summary page. What quickly jumped out to him on almost every competency was his scores for his leadership were higher than everyone else's scores of him. Embarrassed, he laughed and said, "I guess they don't see all the good things I am doing?" As his coach, I said, "Or possibly you are not doing the things to the extent you think you are?"

In a new study of 4,322 participants from 283 global clients, the Hay Group reported that, "participants with high Emotional Awareness display more of all the ESCI competencies at a strength level or top 10% level. These findings led to the assertion that Self-Awareness lies at the heart of Emotional Intelligence."

What is Self-Awareness?
In the Goleman, Boyatzis, Hay Group EI model Emotional Self-Awareness is defined as a leader who recognizes feelings and how they affect them and their job performance. So it is identification of the emotions, implication of that emotion on your performance, which then gives the ability to manage or alter your actions.

In Gestalt therapy the old adage is "awareness equals responsibility." If you are aware of the emotion then now you are "able to respond or be responsible." Often we say in leadership trainings you have to "name it to tame it."

Why is it so hard to be Self Aware?
Our Self-Awareness has to be developed and practiced. David Rock reports that almost 50% of the time we are operating on automatic or not consciously aware of what we are doing. Also when our mind is just wandering we report not being as happy as when we are engaged in some outside activity versus inside mind wandering.

How can we be so mistaken on how we are coming off to others?

1. Intention  and execution gap: We may have 100% intentions and only 50% effectiveness in carrying out our intentions.
2. Introspection illusion: Introspection feels as if we have uncovered out true intentions, when in reality we are making educated guesses about our intentions, many of which are unconscious.
3. Our thoughts are facts fallacy: Believing because you think something therefore it is true and don't check your assumptions with others and worse, act only on limited or skewed data.
4. Lack of feedback: In organizations there is a puacity of meaningful feedback that is candid, accurate and actionable.
5. Leaders don't ask for feedback: It is uncomfortable for leaders to ask for feedback about their performance from others.
6. Superiority illusion: We overestimate our strengths. We think we are more successful, interesting, attractive, and friendly than the average person. Tali Sharot reports 70% of leaders rank themselves in the top 50%.
7. Underestimation of negative impact on others: Leaders minimize their influence on others and usually don't hear about the times when people are upset with their actions or behaviors.
8. Our memory distorts reality: We create false attributions and stories about the facts of the situation.

Self Awareness Actions:
Micro-initiatives create macro impacts. Doing just a few things differently can create a major change. As a result of his 360 degree feedback, Michael designed daily reminders or "awareness boosts" for himself. When he turns on his computer in the morning there is a reminder to stay positive and be aware of the impact of his words and actions. Then at 3:00 p.m. another reminder came up asking him if he acknowledged anyone yet. If not, he'd get up and find someone doing something good or right and emphasize that was what he wanted to see and reinforce repeating those actions. These micro-initiatives took about 5 minutes to do, but helped raise his awareness to complete the actions which would help him to be a top performer.

You snap angrily at a co-worker about a mistake on a document. You are overwhelmed at work with deadlines and burst into fear or tears.

Joe Wilson screams "you lie" to President Obama in his 2009 speech.

Serena Williams swears at a line judge in the 2009 US Open and loses the final to Kim Clisters.

Anne Kreamer in a recent Time Magazine article reports from the Emotional Incidents at Work Survey, that frustration is the most common emotion at work and 60% of workers have seen their boss get angry at someone at work in the last year.

We have all had the experience of doing something in the heat of the moment that we regretted later. Our reaction flew out of the gate before we could catch it. It's like our rational mind stopped and what came out not only surprised us but everyone else around. You end up saying,"How could I do that, what could I have possibly been thinking?"

Well, in reality you weren't thinking you were overwhelmed with an emotional reaction. Smart people acting stupid! Where did you IQ points go? Your IQ drains quickly like a cold beer on a hot day. It is like losing 10 to 15 IQ points temporarily, which explains "what was I thinking?" So you are thinking but with less capacity and brain power. You were hijacked!

In his most recent book, The Brain and Emotional Intelligence, Goleman states, "when hijacked we can't remember other things, we can't learn, we rely on over learned habits and we can't innovate or be flexible." Thus temporarily our IQ is minimized and it's why we end up saying "what was I thinking." The good news is that it is temporary and there are things you can do to keep yourself emotionally fit.

See below some things you can do to change and rewire your brain or in fancy terms "self-directed neuroplasticity." The mind changes with conscious attention and focus. Neuroscientists say "neurons that fire together wire together." Your ability to recharge and recover from stress will prevent the next hijack from happening.

How to Counteract IQ Drain with your EQ Gain?

1. Give your brain a recess. Think of young kids in school, when the bell rings for recess. They yell and scream with free time. Your mind needs a recess to wander in an unstructured manner. Often in this recess, an idea or solution may emerge regarding an issue you have been dealing with. That may mean taking some regular "hammock time" this summer with no agendas.

2. Turn off the TV or radio if you don't consciously want to get news or entertainment. This is so you don't burn critical brain resources by stimulating a fear response without knowing it.

3. Catch your default drains. The default for the brain is to think about yourself and your relationships. If this default mode lands on being self critical of your performance or some injustice done to you, you are draining brain resources without knowing it and setting up a hijack.

4. Clear the deck. Focus on something else for a while or talk to a friend who is positive to change your sense of overwhelm. Allow the prefrontal cortex and your working memory to recharge.

5. Seed your Unconscious. Give your unconscious instructions to work on an issue in the background as you focus on something else.

6. Consciously focus on a future endeavor that you are excited about. The brain gets activated when anticipating a future goal or actions. This energy also starts pulling you toward this event or solution like a magnet.

7. Practice a mindfulness exercise. Focus on your breathing or really stay focused on what you are doing in the moment. Feel your body in space as you sit or move. Meditation, yoga, walking or a massage are ways to allow the prefrontal cortex to recharge and gain your IQ points back.

8. Plan and think about your summer vacation. Research shows that planning your summer vacation can help put you in a better mood. So it's an added vacation benefit without the gas price stress.

9. Aerobic exercise. Getting oxygen in your system with good rigorous exercise three times a week or more will help refresh your brain and your body.

10. Have fun, laugh and connect. Focus on what fun you can have by yourself or with others. Make someone laugh with playful teasing so you both smile. Think about truly telling someone how you feel about them when it is positive, it will lighten your day and theirs, and both of your brains.

Now with 2011 upon us people use this time to think of goals and ways to improve themselves. Often it is something they want to do better in and we all know how long this motivation lasts. Why is that? The goals are too broad and extreme and may focus on things they are not good at. We think the opposite of bad is good, but it is really just moving to "not bad."

The strength audit offers a different approach that is more empowering, reinforcing and productive. There is a plethora of research identifying the values of the strength perspective. (Buckingham, Seligman, Fredrickson, Cameron)

The strength audit puts the magnifying glass on what you do very well and may need to do more of. I sometimes tell clients we are not looking for "makeovers" but "moreovers."

I like Marcus Buckingham's definition of a strength as something that gives you energy. So look at these three audit questions to identify what are your key strengths, that in 2011 you will do more of?

1.  Pre-experience: What do you look forward to doing at work?
          What are you excited about or have positive anticipation for?
            What really gets your juices going?
            Write down the top 2-3 things that you can think of in this category.

     2.  During the experience:  What are you doing when you feel very energized and focused? When are all of your facilities optimized? In psychology this phenomena is called "flow". You are at your best and feel very connected with the process and/or the people in it. The work itself may feel effortless and time may go by very fast.
          
Are these the same things in number one or is there something different you want to add to the list?

     3.  After the experience:  In reflecting about the experience there is an after-glow. You feel good about what you did or
          contributed. Again, you feel energized by this experience. There is a warmth or pleasurable feeling that comes over
          you. Your brain is releasing dopamine as you think about it.

As you think about it, are these the same things in number one or is there something different you want to add to the list?

Now looking at your list, what do you need to do to make these activities more frequent? Even doing them 10-15% more will be beneficial. What "micro-initiatives" will create macro impacts for you? In 2011 these should be your goal. If you do your strengths more, what things will you do less of?

These weaknesses are the things that are the opposite of a strength, they drain your energy. Who can you delegate these taks to so you can focus more on your strengths? They may actually like doing these and are energized by doing them. Knowing this about your team members will create a strong and synergistic team.

So, here is the start of your 2011 plan:

      1. What are your main strengths that energize you the most?
        2. What or who drains you the most?
        3. What needs to happen so you can do more of your strengths?
        4. What resources do you need to build on your strengths and lessen your drainers?

For me, I know I am in my strength when working with new coaching clients identifying and exploring their strengths and concerns. The individual uniqueness of each person and identifying their capabilities is energizing for me. Creating news ways to communicate in a graphic manner excites me.

Another strength is working with groups in training or speaking integrating information and creating tools and tips to meet their needs in a just-in-time focus.

Weaknesses or drainers for me are doing paperwork, filing and intense detailed work, like creating training notebooks. These things I delegate to others as much as I can.

So for 2011, what are you going to do more of?

Click here for more information and FREE EI assessments, tools and articles.

With the New Year come many resolutions and goal setting methods.  In my mind, one goal for businesses supercedes all because it is foundational to success – great (not good) leadership.
 

As an Executive Coach, Corporate Psychologist and trainer I am in different organizations in different business sectors almost every day from healthcare, entertainment, high tech financial institutions to agriculture. This bird’s eye view allows me to see what works and doesn’t work from one leader and organization to another.
>I can say unequivocally that every leader I have worked with has underestimated their influence over others.  Does this agree with your own experience?  If so, every leader and their teams have underperformed.

The good news is that doing a few micro-initiatives can create a macro impact with regard to performance.  There is plenty of stretch room to grow performance to get better results.  This blog shares with you the strategies, tips and tools that help move people into the top 10% of performance using Emotional Intelligence strategies. 

You may ask, “Why is being in the top 10% so important?”  Research by Zenger and Folkman in the Extraordinary Leader states that once in the top 10% the individuals are twice as valuable to the bottom line as someone in 89% and below.

When I talk to groups about leadership, everyone knows who that top 10% performer is on their team. What they don’t know though is how to get more of their own direct reports into the top 10%.  There are some key foundational errors for these leaders.

Not only is there a gap in developing more leaders, we are experiencing a brain drain in enormous proportions.  This is resulting in a converging chaos because of three factors. Already, 40% of organizations state they will be experiencing a significant gap in number of skilled leaders trained.

The three problem factors are:

• America has lost 8 million jobs in the last 2 years because of the great recession.
• Retiring Baby Boomers are leaving a shortfall of 10 million workers.
• Gen X / Y entering leadership roles have lower Emotional Intelligence.

 

So, we have fewer leaders overall and even fewer leaders with high Emotional Intelligence (EI). This is critical because EI not IQ, or technical expertise, has been identified as the key factor for top 10% of performance. The good news is that your EI improves with age -- it is part of maturing.

The solution: In simple terms here is the solution and value proposition:

• Organizations need more good leaders.
• Good Leaders improve team engagement.
• Higher engagement equals higher organizational performance.
• Leaders need Emotional Intelligence to be move into the top 10%.

So why are so many leaders and organizations underperforming? These seven errors are unintentional yet very impactful. How many do you find are true for you or your emerging leaders?

1. Generalization of skill error: Leaders are promoted for reasons other than leadership, either technical skills or being a good individual performer. “You can manage yourself therefore you will know how to manage others.” This error can leave new managers and leaders unprepared and set up for failure, as a new set of skills is required to be a successful leader. Leadership demands a whole new set of skills to be successful. True for you or others?         
2. Spotlight error: Leaders are under the spotlight 24/7. Every action is scrutinized, analyzed or interpreted more so than leaders realize. Many a leader’s credibility has been crumbled with an off the cuff communication or reactive response. True for you or others?      
3. Influence error: Followers want to please the leader and are waiting to be acknowledged for their progress and unique skills. Every day leaders miss opportunities to enhance their influence with followers. Often leaders underestimate or appreciate just how much power and influence they actually have. True for you or others?         
4. Neglect error: The tasks of leadership are often relegated or neglected in favor of the crisis or hot issue of the day. The basic leadership functions of giving direction; feedback, delegating, and coaching are easily put off till the leader has time or finishes their urgent tasks. True for you or others?
5. Style alignment error: Leaders communicate, organize, delegate and give feedback in their own preferred manner. “If it works for me it will work for them”, is the mental model. This will leave leader only partially successful as followers may demand a completely different style to be truly successful. True for you or others?
6. Focus error: Followers expect and want their leaders to be well intentioned, have well thought out plans, be clear in direction, and know how the followers can best contribute to the vision. Leaders too often are scattered, defocused and not clear in what they what and how they want tasks to be carried out. True for you or others?
7. Frequency error: If in fact the leader has skill and makes the time occasionally they don’t employ the necessary strategies frequently enough to be successful. It is too little to truly be effective and successful with strategy to make a significant difference for their employees. It is like exercising just once a week to meet your goal of getting in shape. True for you or others? 

 

If you have checked more than 2 of the 7 for you or for a direct report you are underperforming, and there is plenty of room for maximizing your influence. My latest book,  Leading with Emotional Intelligence, provides specific tools and strategies to increase your EI and that of your team’s.

Earlier this month was Boss Day

Every boss I have dealt with has underestimated their influence over others, therefore they and their team(s)have underperformed. Is this you?

The reason is bosses are under the spotlight more than they ever think. Followers watch their every move and read into what they and don’t say and do and don’t do.

Usually the boss is unaware to the degree of scrutiny and depth of influence they have.
Some of the current research points the massive influence the boss has on their direct reports and team.

Boss Research

• A boss has between  50-70% influence over the climate of the team
• 50% of your life satisfaction comes from relationship with your boss
• 75% of employees say dealing with their boss is most stressful part of their day
• 20 to 40% more heart attacks with bad bosses
• 66% of employees say they don’t see their boss enough
• Only 21% of workers say they know how well they are doing
• Your blood pressure goes up more when there is ambivalence and not knowing how are doing in your bosses eyes is anxiety producing
• 65% of American workforce as received NO praise or recognition in the last year
  

How to make your influence matter as a boss?

1. Stop, look and listen: Truly listen to your people and stay focused on what they are saying not your computer what your response is.
2. Make sure you have regular one on one meetings with people where you highlight the strengths you see in them.
3. Be very clear of your expectations that you have of them. Make sure when you delegate you check for their understanding of you want.
4. Praise progress on projects you see, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson says 3:1 positive to negative response is the ideal for an engaged and productive employee.  Most organizations are more .8 to 1.
5. Jim Kouzes says are you leaving you people feeling more capable after every conversation as a development metric. One easy way to do that is to talk about their capabilities regularly.

Leadership Drip Method

The good news this is not a full time job but regular leadership dripping can keep your direct reports nurtured and growing. This is just like your watering drip method for you plants letting a little out each day. Don’t let your development efforts dry up and lose your optimal influence.

Did you know there are 3 kinds of “Brain Drains” now in the workforce?

   1.  Fewer Brains feeding the leadership pipeline, the actual “number of capable leaders” out there is shrinking
   2.  Emotional Intelligence Drain
   3.  Environmental IQ drain.

78 million Baby Boomers are retiring
Only 46M new Gen X’s are coming to take their place.
40% of organizations will be experiencing significant gap in number of skilled leaders training

Two:  EI Brain Drain, baby Boomers have a higher EI.  Why?

• Less actual face time because of technology. Inter-facing with a computer or phone versus a person lowers the amount of time spent with real people “face to face” is now far less than ever before due to teleconference, webinars and groupware.

• So less time dealing with conflict, less time communicating your thoughts in depth, less immediate response reading emotions that allow to see the effects of your communication, less face time changing and readjusting your communication in the moment.

• These are all basic people skills that are getting “less and less time to be learned” and practiced with each generation so less Emotional Intelligence (less emotionally engaged people overall) are coming into the workforce.

What does leadership research tell us about these “people drainage systems”?

We see this lack of basic skills highlighted in some of the research:

Blanchard Companies launched a study in 2006 in which more than 1,400 leaders, managers, and executives shared their views on the critical skills, common mistakes and failures connected to leadership.

   1. Failing to provide appropriate feedback (praise, redirection)—82% of respondents
   2. Failing to listen to or involve others in the process—81% of Respondents
   3. Failing to use a leadership style appropriate to the person, task, and situation (over-supervising or under-supervising)—76% of respondents
   4. Failing to set clear goals and objectives—76% of respondents
   5. Failing to train and develop their people—59% of respondents

The Answer: Counteract the Brain Drain with Brain Gain EI resources.
Generation X and Millenials need to learn more emotional intelligent leadership skills to compensate for Technology time versus face time. Learn EI skills like Emotional Self Control, Confidence, Teamwork and Collaboration, Developing Others, Communication and Empathy tools and strategies for Leading with Emotional Intelligence .

New book release: Leading with Emotional Intelligence is now available for pre-order . This is the new updated version or Leaders’ Playbook. The profiles in EI were updated and a new chapter about Emotional Self-Control is added. You can pre-order the book here, then back to the site for bonus items.

Next blog: The IQ Drain

Today' leadership challenges require more Emotional Intelligence.

WHY NOW: CONVERGING CHAOS

We are in the middle of a leadership “double whammy.”

1. We are in the midst of what is being called the “great recession.” The country lost 8.4 million jobs from 2007-2009, four times the net losses in the recession of the 1980s and 1.2 million more than previously estimated. The LA Times reports this  “severe destruction of jobs since December 2007, when the recession began, means that it will take years for millions of distressed families—and the economy as a whole—to climb back from what is being called the Great recession.”


2. We are approaching the largest turnover of human capital in our history, as 40% of the American workforce will be eligible to retire in 2010. There is a projected shortfall of 10 million workers that leaders will have to contend with in the next few years.


The questions leaders have to face today are abundant:

• Will I have a job?
• Will my people have jobs?
• How do I motivate the ones who are here?
• How do I keep my best people from leaving and finding more secure work?
• How do I train the ones who are here for the next challenge and to be our new stars?
• How do we deal with more work and fewer people?
• How do we all manage our stress and enjoy work more?
• How do we do our best work with all that is going on?
• How do I hire the best people who can be our next stars?
• How do I manage myself to keep all this in perspective and perform at my best?

David Rock has said the brain knows only two states: Is this situation a threat to me (with the inherent fear)? Or is this situation a reward (with possible release of pleasurable brain chemicals, such as dopamine)? As you read the questions above, which state does your brain go into?

This site www.truenorthleadership.com has resources and assessments to establish where you are on EI and tools for improving your EI. The good news is you can improve your EI with some focus and practice.

Warren Bennis Leadership Guru:  States that the "field of leadership studies should attend to how we develop leaders who understand relationships and communication, who can manage their themselves and others with wisdom, creativity and values."